Why I love coffee shops
Novel writing is slow, so I'm doing observations, now?
One of my mother’s favourite jokes is that if she ever gets lost in Mile-End, all she has to do is walk into a coffee shop and ask if anyone knows me.
It’s funny, because it’s true.
I visit coffee shops daily. Mostly Italian-style cafés like Olimpico, Caffettiera, Ferlucci and San Gennaro, because I prefer the roast, but I also like the culture. And by culture, I don’t mean the 80s-inspired décor or Instagram-able drinks. I am referring to the people and the energy they bring.
There is a gentility that still reigns in coffee shops. An old-fashioned sense of community that makes me think of my father and his generation.
The regulars ebb and flow throughout the day, but there is always at least one familiar face when I walk through the door. Some mornings, we stare quietly out the window, elbow to elbow, the only sound the click of ceramic cup against saucer. Other mornings, we make small talk about TV shows or lazily list what we might do today. When the light is slanting just so, I might hear about a friend’s struggle with anxiety or deconstruct a revelation I’ve had about why a friendship failed.
There’s a compact that you make when you walk through the door. Whatever happens inside, you take it or leave it, no expectations, no agenda, stay for as long as you like, read the room, respect others, never force. And if someone wants to buy you a coffee, you say thank you and enjoy your little treat, maybe pay it forward next time.
There is a gallantry that runs in some Italian men, and even in some Greek and Portuguese men, that compels them to buy your coffee. Not because they want anything in return, it’s just what you do at the coffee shop. A gentle way of showing appreciation for the time spent together, to say thank you for a thought that changed their perspective or for a kind word they didn’t know they needed.
I rarely see most of these people in the outside world, but the moments that we share are still meaningful. This is life, isn’t it? A series of small kindnesses that nourish our flagging hearts and keep us moving forward, that make us feel supported enough to achieve big things.